Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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