Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
