oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
