Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
