Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
