She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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