It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
how does that bad decision feel?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
