they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
