I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
