i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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