That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
