Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Randomize
