Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
