she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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