I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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