Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
