Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
