Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
one might say we're banned from that church
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
