Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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