i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
