i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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