Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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