Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
