mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
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