do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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