I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
