Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
