Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
