I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
