at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
