the new term for farting is butt boxing.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
