I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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