Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dicks are not precious.
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