The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
