No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
