if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
