i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
