Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
