don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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