Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
