are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
