i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
