He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
