My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
