Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
