He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
