I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
