I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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