are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
