I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Randomize
