He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
handjob tips. give me some.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Be still, my beating vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
