The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
