Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it's like iHOP with fire
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
