Got a toothbrush?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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